Under Pretence
by Nekocin
Summary: [onesided TaichiXSora, established Yamara, Oneshot] Taichi contemplates on his friendship with both Sora and Yamato.


**Under pretense  
Author:** Nekocin  
**Genres:** General Romance?/ Angst?  
**Type:** One-shot  
**Warnings:** possible OoC, might be cliché  
**Pairings: ** TaichiSora one-sided, implied YamatoSora/SoraYamato established  
**Rated:** G  
**Additional notes:** Hetero fiction, Taichi's PoV  
**Disclaimer:** Digimon doesn't belong to me. 'nough said.  
**Author's notes: ** I've wanted to write another Yamara/Sorato fic, but this time I've wanted Taichi IN it too!

* * *

Your ruby eyes look at me, shimmering with unshed tears as you bite your lip unconsciously.  
  
"Taichi..." you mutter at last and immediately cling on to my front shirt.  
  
"H-hey, what's wrong?" I look down at you, surprised. Inside, I'm screaming. I'm screaming unintelligent things.  
  
_Take her into your arms! Kiss her!  
_  
I fight my heated feelings for control and encircle you in an embrace. Oh, how I've always wanted you in my arms, forever holding on to me. Instead of getting a warm feeling I get a hollow one.  
  
You choke on your tears and your nails dig deeper into my skin.  
  
"Tell me what's wrong, Sora" I begin softly, while stroking the back of your head soothingly. I can smell the shampoo you've used last night; Wild Flowers. You sob into my t-shirt, not saying anything at all.  
  
"Come inside" I sigh and pull you into my apartment.  
  
It seems almost like yesterday when I've found out I've been in love with you, Sora. I cannot remember since when, but I believe I've always -liked- you at the beginning. And 'like' has somehow turned into 'love'.  
  
How did I know I've been in love with you all this time? Simple.  
I've caught myself looking at you every time we have a friends reunion. I've caught myself wanting to be near you. I've caught myself yearning for your love, your touch...  
  
You never notice my feelings though.  
  
_I never let you.  
_  
I prepare a cup of Chinese tea for both of us as you wait in the living-room.  
  
"Thank you" you give me a crooked smile, accepting a cup graciously and drinking it silently. Taking a seat across you, I watch you carefully and let the silence stretch.  
  
"It's about Yamato, isn't it?"  
  
You stiffen. Aa, so it's Yamato.  
  
"Did something happen to him? Is he okay?"  
  
You shake your head negatively, but did not comment. I'm worried now.  
  
"Did something happen between you two? Did he hit you? If he did I'll give him a piece of my mi-"  
  
You look at me, sharply, promising me a painful death if I continue to utter rubbish.  
  
Sigh. I shut up. I guess it's natural to see you angry whenever I utter nonsense. Yamato's my best friend. I shouldn't be saying stuff about him behind his back, especially not in front of you.  
  
I'm not sure if I've admit it earlier, but I'll say it anyways. I envy Ishida Yamato, my best friend. He's got everything what he needs or not need. He's got the fame, the charm, the talent, the fans, the kindness, even the girl I've been in love with all these years. I suppose at some time I've been jealous of him because he has everything what I don't have.  
  
Yamato never noticed it.  
  
_I never let him.  
_  
The jealousy soon grows out of my system as I contemplate my position from different perspectives; I've matured in a way no one has expected me to be, considering I'd been the most childish and airheaded one of the group that time during our adventures.  
  
Indeed. It hurts to know I'm the third wheel in our friendship, at some time. My feelings hurt, my chest ache. It still does, but not as heart-wrenching in the past. I wonder if you've noticed the pain in my eyes whenever you look into mine, I wonder if Yamato's noticed it too... I guess both of you never did.  
  
_I never let you.  
_  
"Thank you for the tea, Taichi. I should be going now" You speak at last and put down your cup on the small table in front of you.  
  
I automatically smile in response. "Sure"  
  
Even though I've no idea why you've come to me in the first place, I know you're going to be all right. I'm happy for you, for both of you.  
  
"Thanks for coping up with me, Taichi. I'm sorry I've intruded your hom-"  
  
"No, no. Don't be sorry. It's okay with me" I cut in.  
  
You give me a watery smile and reach out to cup one side of my cheek.  
  
"You're a great friend and a great guy, Taichi. Why won't you find yourself a special someone to spend your life with?" You look up at me with your clear eyes.  
  
I stare back at you, my throat tightening.  
  
"Uh..." is all I can bring out, blinking innocently down at your ruby eyes.  
  
For a moment I've wanted to tell you the truth about my feelings, our past, our future... but I'm not ready. I'm not ready for this confession.  
  
You give me a sincere smile and pull your hand away.  
  
"You don't have to tell me right away, you know?"  
  
_I know.  
_  
After I've bid you a good night sleep, I close my front door and lean against it heavily.  
  
Empty. Everything in my apartment feel so empty and yet people come here, people like you and Yamato. Why?  
  
I feel empty. My shoulder begin to shake as I slid down. Something escapes my throat - a soft sob- You've never known about this emptiness. You've never known how empty this apartment feels like.  
  
Everything has been a pretence. Everything about me is deceiving. You've never known because...  
_I never let you.  
_  
_And I never will.  
_  
Maybe some day I'll get over you, maybe some day my feelings will change, maybe some day this will all go away...  
  
** OWARI **  
  
**TheNekoTalks:  
**  
OK, this is a weird piece with a pinch of weird drama. I don't like this piece much, though the only part that I like is the beginning.  
  
**:smiley face: cin**


End file.
